I freely admit that I like to use this blog to show off (Look at my Reversible Rib Shawl! lookie lookie!), but overall, I'm a fairly private person. I don't often share my feelings or the minutiae of my daily life because I don't feel comfortable doing that. But lately, my desire to protect my privacy is being challenged by my desire to show off. I'm talking about my self-designed sweater.
I started contemplating this sweater months ago. I knew I wanted to design a sweater. I knew I wanted it to be red. And from there, my vision for the sweater has grown and developed as I studied stitch patterns and sweaters. By the time I first mentioned designing my own sweater on this blog, I had already spent many hours of many days thinking, swatching, and rethinking the sweater. I didn't want to show of my design until the whole sweater was done. I didn't want to let anyone into my little design world. I seriously considered NOT blogging about the sweater at all until I posted finished object photos.
But then another one of my personality quirks reared its ugly head. This quirk is called Insecurity. Insecurity was accompanied by its friend Anxiety. I finished the back of my sweater and I suddenly decided that it wasn't good enough. It didn't look right. I was making a mess of things with expensive yarn. So, I needed validation. I put this up, and asked the people on the Knittyboard for opinions.
Luckily for me, I received a ton of positive comments and words of encouragement. The Show-Off in me was pleased as Punch and lapped up all the nice words. Unluckily for me, I was also inundated with questions about the rest of the sweater and request for the pattern. At first the Show-Off started elaborating on the design and promised to post the pattern in at least one size.
But in the next few days the Private me started to pout. "It's MY sweater. Not yours. You don't have to know what I'm thinking. I don't want you to have one. It's MINE." Yes, I had an attack of selfishness. But is it really wrong to be selfish about this? I've already spent a lot of time coming up with an idea, working the math, and now knitting. Is it wrong to want of a one-of-a-kind sweater? Oh sure, someone might see my sweater and copy it, but he or she will have to do similar work that I had to do, so he or she deserves it. And the sweater he or she creates won't be exactly my sweater, either.
Oh I will probably post the pattern eventually. Maybe. Please don't be mad if I don't. I'm almost done with the knitting. You will see the sweater in all its glory by the end of next week at the latest. Meanwhile, here's a free pattern for you:
Cast on a bunch of stitches.
Knit until you get tired or bored or you almost run out of yarn.
Fold in half, sew up two sides, fill with polyfill and catnip.
Fight off cats while sewing last seam.
Throw in general direction of cats and let them fight over it.