Saturday, August 26, 2006

We Interrupt this Blog for an Important Stress Fit

Knitting is happening, but not very swiftly. I am now working on the border of the Shaped Triangle Shawl and am 75.87% finished with the entire shawl. (Note to self: crochet edgings are much faster than knitted-on edgings.)

Craziness is happening at home that's making me stressed and scatterbrained. It’s also sucking up a lot of my time. So I haven’t been answering my emails or responding to comments or leaving many comments on blogs--it’s not because I don’t love you.

In fact, we are getting ready to move. We are looking for a new house and putting our house on the market. We had a "professional stager" come in yesterday. She’s someone who comes in and tells you how to arrange all your stuff so that it looks like a place that no one lives in that a person would want to live in.

Before she came, I made an effort to tidy up our many bookshelves and managed to get almost all of our books on bookshelves. Remember what it looked like before? We have since bought another bookshelf and a cleared off the few "trinket shelves." So I was proud of myself to have every book off the floor. What's the first thing that the stager says? "Too many books." She instructed us to pack away 3/4 of the books. Apparently, full bookshelves make people think that we don't have enough storage space.

She also changed everything in my kitchen so that it looks like no one ever cooks there. She was quite disappointed that I didn't have any "decorative food" to place around the kitchen. Sorry lady, I eat my food, not decorate with it. I also have an unacceptably low number of "pretty perfume bottles and pretty toiletry items."

The worst part was that she wanted to get rid of all traces of the cats.
Stager: Can you get rid of the cat tree?
Me: No. The cats are stressed enough as it is, I will not take away their "safe spot."
Stager: Can you move the cat tree to the garage during viewings?
Me: It weighs more than 200 pounds! It can’t be moved easily.
Stager: Do you really need 3 litter boxes? Do you really have to have a litter box in the master bathroom?
Me: If I got rid of any of the litter boxes, the youngest cat will use the rest of the house as her litter box. I assume that’s worse than 3 litter boxes.
Stager: Pick up all the cat toys. Put away the cat beds.
Me (through teeth): Right.
Stager: You have to put away all these cat photos. But the dog photos can stay there. They’re cute and everyone likes dogs.
Me (out loud): Uh, okay.
Me (to myself): What the *beep*?!

(The cat photos are snapshots that I took of my pound kitties. The dog photos are professionally taken studio photos of the purebred dogs that Peter’s family has.)

Regularly scheduled blogging, complete with photos of pretty knitting and cute cats, will return as soon as possible.


helen said...

awww, what a huge bummer. but if it helps you sell i guess it is worth it?? i dunno.
thanks again for the flowers!
i didn't know you were working on that shawl already. no pics yet? and are you using a spreadsheet for your %done?

Jennifer said...

Staging the house is such a major PITA. I hope your house sells swiftly!

Elizabeth said...

That sounds just ghastly. I don't know how you can handle being nice to someone like that.

I should invite a house stager over sometime just to watch him/her try to figure out where to start! It would be a great Candid Camera.

Good luck with the move. I hope you get an offer very quickly and don't have to go through too much preparing for potential buyers. That's no fun, either.

Laura said...

i have to say, if i had been the one having that conversation with the stager, i would certainly end up with a new residence. the state penitentary. i might have to shoot anyone who suggested i need more decorative food or pretty toiletry items. (excuse me, toiletry items are "decorations" but books are "clutter"?!)

and i am offended on behalf of your cats by the suggestion that the cat photos are not cute.

Gina said...

she sounds..ummm interesting. And I LIKE books!!! *pout* and I would rather see cat photos.

turtlegirl76 said...

Oh my God! No way would I have been as polite as you about it. Personally, I think cat photos are way cuter than dog photos. The nerve.

monkeemaven said...

house buyers must be stupid.

did you solve the clues yet?

barbie said...

I am also offended on behalf of the cats. Here's hoping the first people who see the house are just hoping to find a place big enough for three cats and a ginormous cat tree. :)

Rachel said...

Moving? Where? Why? To Providence? Really? That's awesome! There's a house for sale on my street that will be perfect for you.

I don't think I could ever bear to have a professional stager come to my house. I am fairly sure my self-esteem couldn't withstand it. I deal with the state and decor of my house by somehow managing never to register anything about it.

Carrie K said...

Books and cats are the reason to have houses. Well, kitchens & bedrooms too. Gah. Moving. Stagers. Packing. Ugh.

Heather said...

The tortures of moving! Aargh!!!

I feel for you!

It reminds me of the last house we lived in before we had children. The agent made a comment - "The house looks lovely, who "staged" it for you?" Me - "Uh, this is how we live."

Times have certainly changed!

Leland said...

Out here staging is a huge business. What often happens is the sellers move out, and the stagers come in and literally furnish the entire house again, including putting clothes in the closets and food in the cabinets. It's nuts, but the houses look great. Still, the business about the cats is pretty annoying.

Nanc said...

Wow - yikes. That seems tough. We're in the process of looking for/at houses, and I just wanted to say that if I came across a house with cats (cat tree, etc.) and the books - it would probably be perfect for us!

Of course, we've seen houses where they haven't even bothered to clean up - ugh.

Best of luck with the house selling and move. And soon to be returned to knitting.

Susann said...

Americans are funny... ;-)

I always thought when you buy a house you look how big the rooms are, if there is enough natural light, etc. If I were to buy a house, I'd prefer the rooms to be empty. Sorry that you have to go through this. btw, I'm always suspicious when there are not many books, homes without a single book scare me.

Terby said...

Hmm. I'd be suspicious of a house without books - if there weren't enough bookcases, I'd wonder where I would put all of mine? I hope the sale goes quickly. As long as the house is clean, and your pets aren't sick, I don't see the problem with them?